Justin and I have not shot a DailyRelationship video for 3 months – the longest we have gone since starting this project over 3 years ago. Over the last few months we faced into our biggest relationship challenge to date, and it didn’t feel particularly friendly to be publicly sharing such a vulnerable, raw, and traumatic experience with all of you.
So here we are, 3 months later, after many therapy and coaching sessions, ready and willing to share what we are currently learning about what happened.
So what happened?
The gist of it is that our unresolved shadow material (individually and in the relationship) came out to bite us in the butt – to the point where we thought our marriage was over. In several of our previous videos we have spoken at length about Justin’s “peacekeeper” and my “controller”, but we had NO idea how much they had started to run amuck in our relationship.
Are we surprised this all happened? In some ways, yes. It completely blindsided us. In other ways, no, we weren’t surprised. We made one of the biggest commitments of our lives 9 months ago on an altar in Bali. We then proceeded to have two more weddings and launch two relationship E-Courses. Thus, any integrity gaps within our relationship were bound to surface.
As painful as this process has been, we are infinitely grateful that our shadow parts have surfaced AND that we have called in the essential support necessary to do this crucial work. We are certainly humbled by this process.
PS. After recently reading Jeff Brown’s book, An Uncommon Bond, I feel so grateful that we both are willing to face our shadow parts. It is my opinion that “shadow work” (aka. skillfully and compassionately working through our most unconscious material) is one of the most sustainable and healing paths towards true love, individually and in partnership.
All our love and gratitude,
Juna & Justin